i haven't been sleeping. last night i stayed up until four am without a lingering blink. the only thing that motivates me to close my eyes is that i know i should be.
it's what normal people do.
i'm draining my body.
i feel no need to sleep. sleep is not just unwanted now, no, now it is feared. monday night i could not sleep. writhing in bed until it stopped. but it didn't stop. i fell into unconsciousness only to be awoken at three am in desperation, sweating, not able to remember ever sleeping. i fell away once more to be brought up at seven. my body ached.
my body aches.
i've found that the sleep i once required is no longer needed. it is more comforting to stay awake. it is kinder to my body to distract my subconscious with conscious thinking.
go away you evil thoughts.
go away.
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