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and the Line Goes Dead.

my sight slips from my grasp,
hoping the words will just slide out is a petty dream
wishing for happiness leaves you empty handed and helpless

but obtaining what you thought didn't exist is a blessing.

i sit in every class and watch the clock's hands move backwards
they're teasing me pretending to keep me here,
rain pounds down outside where i can not feel it on my skin
the hands fall out of focus and i can see the droplets
standing under them as they crash around me
covered in bruises from the sweet liquid
someone walks out from behind a corner and joins me in joy
bodies keeping bodies warm
never looking up but to catch a drink
crossing things off a list and never realizing you are a fantasy
falling faster; the rain becomes a weapon
my skin starts to sizzle
screaming i watch as my knees buckle and i fall into a puddle i can not walk from
watching myself drown, i do nothing to save her
i see the look on my face, the fear in my eyes as i take in the water i asked for
but i jerk my head back up
the angry stares from my elders who spend hours trying to teach me things that will not save me
they voice their concerns
sleeping does not rid me of my dreams
i find myself getting lost in my mind
they offer me a map but it's a dead end
i count down the hours, the minutes, the seconds
but after each teacher releases me from their grips another pulls me in
it's a never ending cycle and my mind is my only escape
but my imagination has taken control and it's no longer a choice
i can't stay awake
you were right tante
i can't do it because they wont let me
they always call me back and i can not deny their requests

my imagination has me on a leash.