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i've opened this window time after time. thoughts in my head and words on my lips but still nothing flows out of my fingers. i've gotten so sick and tired of the sound of my own thoughts. the thoughts of others interest me so much more than my own pain and whining. i'm disgusted by the way i start my sentences with "i"s. i feel sick when my eye are forced to read over what i have written in a hope to find some truth or explanation in it all. there are so many things about the way that i write that make me want to stop writing all together. words never formed for me like they do for eveyonee else.

i do not like you. i want you to leave me alone. the way you laugh and pretend i'm happy makes me feel even sicker than i did in the beginning. i do not want to talk to you. shut up shut up shut up.

i'm an idiot.