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today i looked down at the tile in the bathroom. i was distracted by the pink markings. i started to see screaming kittens in the patterns. i felt sick to my stomach. i had not eaten anything all day. the liquids in my body consisted of lemonade, caramel frappe, and the water i had chugged just outside the room. dehydration hit me in waves and my attempts to drown myself in water had not yet set in. kittens kept screaming at me. no matter how many times i blinked my eyes and said i was just feverish i could not clear those cats. their faces filled with longing and fears. with screams they told me how they wished to no longer be stepped upon. they cried kitten tears and scratched with kitten claws. little pink screaming kittens that were beyond my help but stuck in my subconscious. i have learned much from staring at the floor.