I feel like I am collapsing again

I read a description of astrological signs and one of the bullet points for Sagittarius was

• THE GLASS IS HALF FULL, ALSO I WANT TO SMASH IT

and I identify with that a lot.

I miss my mom

I want to cry
I really want to sleep
I don't want to fail my classes

I am SICK and TIRED of people treating my friends like SHIT

i don't wanna go home.

twisted knots in the wood beneath my feet
unreliable light fixtures rolling right over my esophagus
my brow is knitting a sweater and im simply tired

not so simply.
i feel homesick and that feels dangerous.

this feeling of being tired of not trying but too tired to try.
it's scooping out my insides and making an ornamental dish out of my ambitions.
i'm not even edible anymore.

do you feel like crying? on that poor boy's heart?

two lamps and a snake nose

still screaming, cried and nobody heard it.
also bleeding - uncontrollably and on people who want me to heal.

I have done things I am not proud of. Many I try to lie to myself about.
I feel sick and I am sick.

so happy. still screaming.

i'm really looking forward to crying later

kill me or date me
these are the only options

aye! must be the money!

I melted along with the snow

i think my depression is getting worse because i talk about caring but have very few manifestations
i'm not motivated to pursue any of my extracurricular interests and am slacking in my classes
i've been constantly telling myself that i'm lazy and it's my fault i'm failing but it makes no difference

i've got lots of things to do, all things i care about very much
but i cannot bring myself to do them, barely a single one is complete
i can only blindly support myself for so long - i need results

I've been focusing too much on what my interactions with other people can give me

we sit - lungs heavy - cheeks sore - breathing for a common goal

i do not take good care of my body so my joints creak
my bones crack when whelmed by my movements
it has been known that every process is tedious
but skeletal muscle is built to withstand strain
so it makes me sad that my hands are smooth and i am in pain

my skin is lightly burnt and my tush is slightly chilled

"you're embarrassing me in front of you!"